(Want to sing along? It's set to the tune of the MST3K Season 10 Intro.)

In the not too distant present,
Not very far away,
Silverwing and her roommate friends
Are having a stressful day
They try to survive the whims of Sue,
A sadistic gal with nothing else to do
From her penthouse above she mails them prose galore,
Just to irritate her neighbors who live on the lower floor
("Let us out!")

"I'll send them ghastly fiction,
The worst I can obtain" (la-la-la)
"They'll have to sit and read it all,
And I'll laugh when they complain" (la-la-la)

Remember Silver can't control
When the story begins or ends (la-la-la)
She'll try to keep her sanity
With the help of her roommate friends

Roommate Roll Call:
Chester! ("Hello.")
Silver! ("Oh, my head...")
D. Smiley! ("Time to sleep.")
Azuriiite! ("I'm evil!")

If you're thinking that they will all go mad
From cheesy fantasy (la-la-la)
You can say to yourself, "Yeah that's too bad,
But I'm glad it's them not me"
In Fantasy Science Library 2000!

[The theme music fades out. The camera zooms in through the window of a downstairs apartment. The view centers on a living room festooned with feathers and out-of-season Christmas lights. An empty bird cage stands in one corner, an unattended computer desk in the other. Between them is a closed set of steel double doors that look very out of place in the otherwise casual setting. On the wall above, an unlit red neon sign simply reads: LIBRARY.]

[Two young women lounge in padded lawn chairs, backs turned to the metal doors. One lady, currently filing her nails, sports a stylish white toga and a pair of silver-feathered wings. The other is reading a magazine whose title and content aren't suitable to mention here; she is physically identical to the first, save that her wings are a glossy lavender, and there is about her a faint aura of evil (though how this is conveyed through the screen shall remain a mystery). After a few moments, the silver-winged one puts down the file and turns to face her associate.]

Silver: Say, Azurite, my evil clone...

Azurite [without looking up]: What is it, Silverwing, my grudgingly tolerated nemesis?

Silver: Have you seen Chester, our pet parakeet who was recently transformed into a man, lately?

Azurite [absentmindedly]: No. Why don't you ask D. Smiley, our narcoleptic yet otherwise perfectly normal human roommate?

Silver: ...Because, as you know, she's asleep.

Azurite: Oh.

[Azurite sets her magazine down.]

Azurite: Silver?

Silver: Hmmm?

Azurite: What the heck was that?

Silver: Gratuitous exposition, my foe. As you know, we just finished reading a particularly horrible piece of fiction. We're now experiencing some side effects, which may include (but are not limited to) involuntary exposition, stilted dialogue, headache, nausea, dysfunction of the--

[Azurite rolls up her magazine and gives Silver a hard smack upside the head.]

Silver: ...Thanks. I needed that.

Azurite: Any time.

[Suddenly, the computer screen flashes.]

Computer: You've got mail!

Silver: Uh-oh...

Azurite: Wait. When did we get AOL?

Silver: I think it's now capable of installing itself.

Azurite: Eh, whatever. We can burn the machine later. Let's see what we've got.

[They approach the computer. Silver opens the e-mail.]

Both: ...GASP!

[Commercials are perpetrated.]

[When we return, Silver and Azurite are slumped dejectedly in front of the computer.]

Silver: More fiction? So soon? Where does Sue find this awful stuff?

Azurite: I have a theory, but it isn't PG-rated.

Silver: Well, I guess the story can't be that bad...

[Thunder rumbles. The room darkens.]

Silver: No worse than the last one, anyway.

[There is a flash of lightning, followed by a significantly louder thunderclap. Rain begins to pour down outside.]

Azurite: Now look what you've done!

Silver: What? We've already surived The Eye of Argon. It can't get more horrifying than that.

[The weather clears up. Sunshine and birdsong stream through the windows.]

Azurite: ...Fair enough. What is this new story, anyway?

Silver [referring to the e-mail]: Something called Dark Meridian. Says here it's the original draft of a fantasy novel written by some kid. Only the first chapter or two is available. Apparently the young author scrapped it partway through, then started fresh on a somewhat well-written version.

Azurite: Let me guess. We get to read the stuff that was thrown away?

Silver: You've got it. Well, we'd better get this over with. You know how Sue starts playing that loud rap music if we try to stall...

Azurite: Not so fast; we're still one member short.

Silver: Eh?

Azurite: We need at least three people for these things; it's an unwritten rule. We've got to get either Chester or DS to read with us.

[As if on cue, a slightly wall-eyed young man in a blue tuxedo stumbles in from the hall. He flaps his arms wildly for a moment, then falls over flat.]

Silver: Chester!

Azurite: Just the man-bird we were looking for. Heh... Still getting used to the new legs, I see.

Chester [muffled by the carpet]: Curse you humans and your forward-bending knees.

[Suddenly, all goes dark as iron panels slide down over the outside windows and doors. The out-of-season Christmas lights flash erratically. The neon LIBRARY sign switches on, emitting a blinding glare and an irritating buzz.]

Silver: Oops. Time to go.

Azurite: C'mon, bird man.

Chester: Why me? I just came out for a snack...

All: WE'VE GOT STORY SIGN!

[The double doors open. Silver and Azurite run to the library. Chester gets up and totters unsteadily after them.]

[6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...]

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