Ways to Have Fun at Wal-Mart

10. Grab a couple of the complimentary electric wheelchairs and race around the store. Bonus points for whoever knocks over the most displays.

9. Take out your cell phone and pretend your significant other is breaking up with you right then and there. Be as emotional as possible.

8. Hide in the clothes racks and then jump out at random people exclaiming "Always Low Prices!"

7. Bring in your own DVD, fold-up chair and bag of popcorn and watch a movie on one of their big screen TVs. If any clerks ask you to stop, tell them you put that particular TV on layaway.

6. Program all the clocks and watches to go off at five-minute intervals.

5. Declare war on all other shoppers by wielding rolls of gift wrap against them.

4. Whenever an announcement comes on over the intercom, scream out "Not those voices again!" and run out of the store. (If you come back in and act like nothing happened, you get extra credit.)

3. Go up to a clerk and ask for an imaginary new item (e.g. "Spoodle") that you saw on aisle five just the day before. When he can't find it, ask him to look in the back. When he comes back, make sure you're gone because he's gonna be sore mad.

2. Practice your gymnastic moves in the aisles while singing the theme to "Mission: Impossible."

1. Sneak into the employee area and clock in random workers. That's sticking it to "The Man," and meanwhile the employees will thank you in their prayers for the extra cash in their paychecks.


Submitted by Mai; originally posted at www.voxrox.org


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