Once upon a noontide cheery, while I sat reclined and weary,
Reading many a quaint and curious volume of Discworldian lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a clapping,
As of someone loudly rapping, rapping on the second floor.
"'Tis some teen," I muttered idly, "rapping on the second floor—
only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I recall—it happened in the peaceful fall;
And each separate hoot and call I tried—endeavored to ignore.
Eagerly I wished its ceasing, as the volume fast increasing
Tempted me into releasing blasphemies upon the boor:
"Damn his rudeness," I exclaimed, "Such tasteless music I abhor!
Surely I can't take much more."

And the slumping, off-key clumping of the music loud and thumping
Chilled me—filled me with fantastic fury never felt before;
So that now, to slow the beating of my heart, I stood repeating:
"'Tis some teen of doubtful breeding rapping on the second floor—
Some ill-mannered teen depleting all the patience from my store—
Something I cannot ignore!"

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
Up the stairs I went and then I knocked upon his chamber door,
"Sir," said I, by way of greeting, "your attention I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so loudly you've been rapping,
Rudely, you disturb my napping, rapping on the second floor.
I can read in peace no more."

The teen, with face so smug and sneering, backwards hat and seven earrings,
Only stood there laughing, jeering—then all mildness I foreswore;
"Now see here," I said, quite flustered, as my courage then I mustered,
"I can't stand," I fairly blustered, "rapping on the second floor!
You had best decrease that volume—turn it down a great deal more."
But the brute just slammed his door.

Back into my chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Once again I heard the rapping—even louder than before!


"The Raven" © Edgar Allan Poe
Parody © Aja 2000


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