When I gain control of the anime universe...

All giant, humanoid robotic suits will be disassembled so that their components can be incorporated into more efficient machines of mass destruction.

The female characters will not habitually stand about with their knees knocked together. They will maintain a healthy posture, just like everyone else.

If a male character is punched in the nose during a fight, he will not fall to one knee and clutch his arm. He will only clutch his arm if and when he is wounded in the arm/shoulder area.

A new safety ordinance will be instituted, forbidding characters to wield a sword that is longer than they are tall.

A similar law will be passed, forbidding characters to create a fireball or energy sphere bigger than their own head.

As a necessary corollary to the above law, any hair style that increases the apparent diameter of one's head by a factor of greater than 1.5 is prohibited.

Elf- and cat-ears are approved, but if they become so long that they droop over, they will be surgically reduced. An exception is made for real cats.

Any camera man caught zooming in on a woman's bouncing chest will be fired without severance pay.

Any camera man caught zooming up under a schoolgirl's skirt will be shot.

All characters will practice good oral hygiene, and receive regular check-ups from a dentist. Anyone who shows signs of developing an "overbite" will be given prompt corrective treatment.

All warriors-in-training will practice a sensible exercise regime—focusing more on strength, toning, flexibility and coordination than simple muscle mass. In no event shall a man's biceps be allowed to grow larger than his own head.

Characters will not be allowed to wear decorative belts around their arms, legs or neck. They serve no useful purpose, and are bad for circulation.

Any character who spontaneously manifests fangs when angered will be sent to the nearest church or temple for an exorcism.


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