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The Story Telling Game!
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Creepy Bob
Courtier


Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

see317 wrote:
Quote:
The dark lord leaned forward in his throne, gazing deeper into his scrying dish. His deep chortle echoing through the his chamber.
It wasn't the show he was expecting, but entertaining none the less.
Still, there was a problem. He had ordered his Earless Ones to punish the dwarf lord, and it rankled to have his revenge taken from him.
Leaning closer to the scrying bowl he whispered to his Earless Ones.
"Take your recreation in the city, but when you're done remember: I ordered my Earless Ones to take vengeance for me, and this human hero has taken the play that belongs to you. As such, he has chosen to do my will and, knowingly or not, he is now mine. And I am giving him to you. When you're done in the city, welcome your new brother to the game."


Quote:
Action Jack strode triumphantly into the planning room of the rebel headquarters. He struck his most narcissistic arms akimbo pose.
"The deed is done. The dreaded Giant-ear Rabbits are no more!" he said, and let his calm perfect blue eyes survey the cheering rebels, perfect square chin held high. Damn I'm good, he thought for the thousandth time today.
The rebel general, sir Stache, rose from his seat of honor, giving Action Jack a refined golf clap.
"Well done, Jack, well done, I say! I knew we could count on you, old bean!" were the words that issued from deep within his luxurious handlebar moustache.
"Hey, was there ever any doubt, baby?" said Action Jack and cranked up his million carat smile even further.
"None at all, my strapping young lad, none at all". General Stache gave his moustache a twirl. "That despicable Midget Prince has received his warning. If he knows what is good for him, he will relinguish the throne, or he shall jolly well witness the true might of Operation Q-tip!"
The rebel crowd cheered. Action Jack grinned. General Stache twirled his moustache.
But suddenly the cheering abruptly cut off and the general stopped in mid twirl.
"Er. Jack, my lad?"
"What's up, daddy-o?" said Jack, still locked in his award winning heroic pose.
"One of your ears just fell off"

***

Meanwhile, the Men-With-No-Ears were having the time of their unlives...


Should be fun to see how Jack deals with this little dilemma...
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Nemilay
Spark


Joined: 20 Mar 2009
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2009 5:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're gonna love this then Wink

Quote:
Action Jack turned to General Stache noticing that the man's lips were moving but no sound seemed apparent.
"What's that General Stache? I cannot seem to hear you. Must be all the cheering." But as Action Jack turned to continue his posing for the room full of adoring fans he noticed that they were no longer cheering. Wondering why his followers were not practically worshiping him at his feet, he looked down at them. It was then he noticed his missing ear.

"What's this? A new foe has attempted to take a trophy off of me!?" Action Jack spun to face the fiend that was surely behind him, but there was nothing there. "Oh, I see!" he heroically declared. "You shall pay for this Midget Prince. This time I won't stop at your foul beasts, but shall continue until I have destroyed everything you hold in your dark heart!"
Action Jack then picked up his perfect ear from the filthy floor, and headed back into town.

Being that he couldn't vanquish evil with only one ear still attached he decided to stop at the apothecary's hoping to find some aid there. So focused was he on his quest that he hardly noticed the newly razed appearance to the town. Stopping at the burnt door of the apothecary, Action Jack pounded upon it. It took only a few seconds for the weakened frame to relinquish its hold on the hinges and drop the door to the ground, after which it fell inward.

"Nice!" Action Jack commented. "I simply must make my door open this way too." Before he could let the though distract him from his mutated appearance however, he walked over the fallen door and into the room beyond. He was surprised when the Apothecary was not there to see him, after all who wouldn't want to see him? "Well, I supposed he just want's me to help myself then." Action Jack strode forward to a wall covered in potions.

Sifting through them he at last found the one he was looking for, for tellingly it bore the label of 'ear.' Now had Jack been brighter (meaning in intelligence for he was quite bright in looks) he might have taken note that the potion's label was burned on one side. Being as he was not brighter, he pulled free the cork and downed the potion in one swift and large swallow as his other ear fell to the floor. The potion filled Jack's body with a cold tingling and he shivered before the magic subsided. Finding a bit of broken mirror Action Jack lifted it and smiled at his handsome features, turning so he could look at his ears.

At first he was pleased seeing that his ears had completely grown back, but afterwards, he noticed that they had more then grown back. Now the tops came to points instead of being their usual rounded selves. Briefly he was concerned at what this would do to his reputation, before he figured that this would undoubtedly bring him some pretty exotic babes.

"Oh, yeah," he whispered to his flawless reflection, running one hand through his handsome hair. "Bring it on!" With that he set the piece of glass on the counter and headed one more for the midget prince's castle.
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Creepy Bob
Courtier


Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nemilay wrote:
You're gonna love this then Wink

Quote:
Action Jack turned to General Stache...


Quote:
Action Jack strode purposefully through the city, still oblivious to the mayhem surrounding him, as all of his brain cells were occupied with keeping up the appropriate "vengeful hero striding purposefully" pose.
Arriving at the Cerumen Palace, he dispatched the Midget Prince's ear-helmeted guards with ease, and burst into the Prince's bedroom, finding him bedridden and rather unfocused due to a grief-related mental breakdown.
The Midget Prince smiled dreamily at Action Jack, not recognizing him. Jack approached the Prince and pointed his sword at his throat.
"What... have you done to my ears?" he asked hoarsely. The Midget Prince would have glanced at Jack's ears at this point, except that he was already staring vacantly at his left ear.
"Done? Why, I have done nothing to thy ears, dear boy. And I see nothing wrong with them. Such beautiful ears they are" the Midget Prince said softly.
Action Jack's new set of ears chose this moment to also detach from his head.
The Midget Prince was in a fragile mental state as it was, and the horror of missing ears was more than he could take. He fainted again.
"Gods damnit, I wish they'd stop doing that!" Action Jack exclaimed. He scooped up his ears, stuffed them in his pocket, and turned to the Midget Prince to deal him the killing stroke, heroic code of mercy be damned.
But before he could do anything, a strange sensation made him hesitate. He looked down at himself and noticed to his horror that his body was turning transparent and he was slowly sinking through the solid floor.
"What in the hells?!"

***

Meanwhile, in said place, Satan was enjoying Himself immensely, even though keeping track of the Midget Prince's anguish, Jack's transformation and the already existing Men-With-No-Ears' rampage through the city was tricky. Thankfully, His scrying dish had TiVo.
The Lord of Darkness shovelled another handful of baby seal flavored chips into His maw.

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Creepy Bob
Courtier


Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 8:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, I broke it. Sad
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Tulsileaf
Mink Sith Lord


Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 572
Location: Behind you.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 1:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The capital city of the Midget Lord's Empire was in chaos. Men, women, children of all ages, soldiers, nobles, and peasants, all slaughtered indiscriminately in the same way: their ears and limbs cut off, the torso turned inside out and the limbs reattached. The ears were not found again. It quickly became apparent to the rebel leaders that something other than their latest insurrection was happening to the city and Action Jack's sudden disappearance only made them more nervous.

Fortunately for them, the captain of the guards came to a similar conclusion. Fearing an invasion, he sent emissaries to the rebels seeking an alliance, temporary or permanent. General Stache, believing it to be a marriage proposal, immediately refused citing moral, ethical and conflict of interest reasons. After several more negotiations (the delay from which allowed even more needless slaughter) an agreement was reached. Notices were posted throughout the city summoning all surviving able-bodied individuals to what was left of the city's amphitheater in three days. Riders were sent out to deliver the message to the towns and villages of the Empire. In one particular village, not far from the capital city, Missy was trying to get the pigs from eating the turnips ...

(End Chapter One?)
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Creepy Bob
Courtier


Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most of the hogs scattered easily after a few whacks from the broom, but one particular sow was proving more persistent.
"Dammit Roseanne, leave them turnips be!" Missy shouted and tried to push the sow away. Roseanne tried a complicated maneuver in which she tried to get away and stay behind to eat the turnips at the same time.
"I told you to quit it!"
An extra hard slap to the rump from the broom made Roseanne let loose an indignant little shriek, and she retreated to eye the turnips covetously from a distance.
Missy went to a bench at the edge of her farm, by the road, and sat down heavily.
Retiring to a quiet farm after a life of adventure wasn't as idyllic as people had made it seem. Some days Missy would have rather faced the Mad Lizard Men of !Mzt't armed with a toothpick instead of dealing with all the hassle that the farm delivered.
Something caught Missy's eye. Some kind of torso man was walking down the dusty road.
It was Action Jack. He was not in a particularily good mood.
The mobs of scared, angry citizens hadn't been able to decide if they believed the ridiculous rumors of the thus-far benevolent rebels being responsible for the recent carnage, or the ridiculous rumors that some kind of see-through men with no ears were the culprits.
However, since Jack happened to be both, he had quickly become a target. He'd been severely poked by pitchforks before he had been able to flee the city.
Missy stared at him. Not because Jack seemed to be wading through the ground and his head seemed to be lacking ears. A succesful career as a swordswoman had taken away her ability to be surprised by strange sights.It was because she recognized him.
"Jack?!"
"Missy...?"
"Jack! What are you doing here? What's happened to you?!"
"Missy, baby! I've been cursed!"
Missy sighed and shook her head "Oh Jack. Not again."

***

The hut smelled of rotten fish, and the heat rising from the firepit in the center didn't exactly help. The smell emanated from an old hag, whose clothing was made of the rather unorthodox material of fish scales and old shrimp shells. As for the hag herself, she had long tangles of long but thinning white hair, eyes pointing in different directions and an extraordinarily hooked nose. Features that screamed "witch".
She spat into the fire.
"Nay, boy. 'Tis not the Midget Prince that has cursed ye. 'Twas the work of the Dark Lord of Hell, Himself!"
"Satan?" asked Missy incredulously. "Are you sure?"
"Fish guts donnae lie, dear"
Action Jack was pacing the dirt about four feet under the floor of the hut.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just brew something up so's I can get rid of this damnable curse. I'm gonna have a hard time getting chicks if they think I'm short!", he snapped.
"Jack", said Missy impatiently, "haven't you caught on to the fact that simple potions won't have any effect on a curse of this potency?" She turned back to the witch. "Is there anything that can be done?"
The witch hought for a bit, staring up at the ceiling.
"Mayhap" she said finally and spat towards the fire again, but hit the end of her own nose instead, a fact she seemed oblivous to.
For a few moments the horrified attention of Jack and Missy was focused on the loogie hanging lazily off the witch's nose.
They shook themselves. "Yes...?" queried Missy.
"Bring me these spell reagents three..."

(sorry bout the length. Inspiration struck once again.)
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Amarath
Noble


Joined: 01 Sep 2009
Posts: 219
Location: Under your bed.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"You must bring me a hair from the top of the devil's head, blood from the current queen, and then you must find the tallest tree in the forest, cut it down with a herring, and bring me the logs." The witch said.
"But how are we to find all of those things?" replied Jack.
"Think about it!" exclaimed the witch. "Use that head that you have!" Then she cackled as she threw a smoke bomb down and disappeared.



( My post feels really inadequate next to all of the other ones. Sad Also, does anyone get the Monty Python reference?)
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Creepy Bob
Courtier


Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The exit would have been a lot more impressive if the witch hadn't hit her head on Jack's arbitrarily on-and-off solid foot while crawling through her Disappearing-Mysteriously-Tunnel. A muffled "ow, bugger" could be heard.
"Well", said Jack after a while, "what're your thoughts? You used to be the brains of our party after all"
Missy pursed her lips and stared up into the fish-riddled ceiling of the hut. "Getting into any of the regions surrounding Westphalia has been pretty damn difficult after the total shambles the Midget Prince has made of diplomatic relations. Especially difficult if we come asking for the queen's blood. That could easily be misunderstood.
"As for the tallest tree", she went on, "it is located in the darkest depths of the Great Forest and is considered sacred by the Mad Lizard Men of !Mzt't. A challenge, indeed. The bit about the herring was probably just the witch being something that rhymes with 'witch'
"Finally, getting a hair from the Devil would probably be something I can't handle all by myself..."
"Hey, I'm up for kicking some infernal butt anytime of the week, baby, so don't you worry none!" said Jack, trying to muster some of his former shining confidence/arrogance.
"Yeah, thanks Jack, but considering a sword is as likely to fall through your hand as not, I don't think you'd be of much help in your current condition. Sorry. Besides, like it or not, Satan is your master, so it's doubtful you'd be able to do anything against His will anyway. No, I think it's time we got back in touch with the Alphonse" said Missy.
"Aw, geez. Not that guy!" Jack groaned.
"Oh, don't be like that! The Alphonse isn't so bad once you get used to his little ways..."

***

Meanwhile, the Midget Prince was having a miserable time. The-Men-With-No-Ears had taken a small break from their destruction fest to fulfill their obligation to their Dark Lord. They had tied up the Midget Prince in his rabbit footed bathtub and buried him under hundreds of severed ears, before leaving to resume their fun.

***

Missy banged on the door. "Please, Alphonse, we need your help!"
Silence.
"Alphonse?"
"There's no-one here by that name" rumbled a deep voice from the other side of the door.
"Oh Gods" muttered Jack, rolling his eyes.
"Sorry, sorry, the Alphonse" Missy corrected. "But we really do need your help!"
"The Alphonse is out of the adventuring business. The Alphonse is sick of the constant violence, the bad food and lack of sleep. And sitting on horseback always gave the Alphonse piles" the voice grumbled.
"Come on, Alphonse! If not for Jack's sake, think of all the people that need his help. Please, Alphonse!"
Silence.
"Alphonse?"
"There's no-one here by th-"
Action Jack let loose a scream of rage and started pounding on the Alponse's door with both fists.
"NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME, YOU THIRD-PERSON SPEAKING @#%&!!! I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH HAVING DIRT UP TO HERE, YET SOMEHOW MANAGING TO KEEP STUBBING MY @#%& TOES ON @#%& STONES SEVERAL FEET UNDER THE @#%& GROUND!!!" he roared.
He took a deep breath and carried on in a more measured tone. "So if that's what it takes, I will let you have that of mine which you always envied. If that's what it takes for you to join Missy in her quest, so be it. What you always coveted will be yours"
"Jack...?" Missy breathed, surprised.
Nothing happened for a few moments.
Then the door opened a fraction.
"The Alphonse is listening..."

(I wonder what the Alphonse's big wish will end up being)
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Creepy Bob
Courtier


Joined: 01 Aug 2009
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Mon Jul 19, 2010 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, since I seem to have killed this story with my purple prose, anyone mind if I adopted it?
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Amarath
Noble


Joined: 01 Sep 2009
Posts: 219
Location: Under your bed.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2010 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Yes, Alfonse, you can have my coffee mug of heroism if you help us," said Jack.
Alfonse gasped,"You really mean it? For real?"
"Wait wait wait, a coffee mug? Why a coffee mug?" asked Missy.
"Correction," said Jack,"The coffee mug of heroism."
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