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Tulsileaf Mink Sith Lord
Joined: 05 Apr 2005 Posts: 573 Location: Behind you.
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 10:43 pm Post subject: |
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A thousand apologies. Accept this paragraph as reparation,
Quote: | Missy crawled out from under the burnt remains of the cart and surveyed the ruins. "Alphonse? Jack?"
"Right here" came a muffled reply. A moment later ethereal Jack leaped out of the charred body of a guard. "Nifty, huh?"
"Save it. Where's the Alphonse?" Missy was clearly getting impatient. They had things to do and places to go.
"He... uhh... he's a berserker."
Missy started scrounging around the cart. Quickly she uncover a metal chest and pulled it off. "I know what he is. Just tell me where he is."
"He went berserk."
"He went what?" Missy dropped the chest in surprise. Fortunately it was a well made chest designed to take punishment far greater than that. Rated E5 on the Westphalian military's ruggedness scale, no adventurer traveled without one. But Missy was not thinking about that. In fact, from all her adventuring, she wouldn't consider it a real chest unless it could survive being smashed by a giant into a cliff wall.
"Don't tell me he jumped on that thing."
Jack fidgeted not sure what to do while Missy paced between the rubble, her forehead resting on her palm. |
Dare I say you are the true founder as I merely gave the worst intro. while you gave the initial setup and characters. And you compiled the chapters, made illustrations, etc. _________________ Use your powers for gazpacho.
Donate and earn the right to say, "Tulsileaf exists thanks to me!" |
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Aja Pajamazon
Joined: 21 Jul 2002 Posts: 2084 Location: Thataway
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Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: |
Meanwhile...
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_________________ "The one concession a sane man will never yield the universe is that of considering it seriously."
~ James Branch Cabell |
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Creepy Bob Courtier
Joined: 01 Aug 2009 Posts: 71
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:26 am Post subject: |
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From the J16 thread:
Quote: | *SQUEE* <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
...okay, that's probably the one and only time you'll ever witness me doing that. |
Ahem, carry on. _________________ http://creepybob.deviantart.com (Warning: Contains Horrors) |
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Creepy Bob Courtier
Joined: 01 Aug 2009 Posts: 71
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:08 am Post subject: |
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Quote: | Clinging to the dragon's tail high up in the sky, something was happening inside The Alphonse; the red mist was being replaced by pink, fluffy clouds. The Alphonse had a great love of all things feathery, and the big, heavy man had often dreamed of soaring like a bird.
He shed his veil in order to better feel the wind on his face.
Far below, the veil landed in the face of Jack, who was hanging on to the speeding cart.
"Aaargh, I'm blind," he screamed.
Missy glanced at him, and then turned her eyes back towards the dragon in the distance. "No, Jack, that's just the Alphonse's veil," she said.
"Oh. Do you think it ate him?" said Jack, barely trying to conceal the hope in his voice.
At that point the dragon let out a roar that could be heard for miles. It did not sound happy.
"No, by the sound of that, The Alphonse is still very much alive," said Missy. She sighed. "Poor thing. I wonder what The Alphonse is doing to it?"
The dragon was getting very annoyed. Not only had the monkey shown considerable disrespect in attacking a creature of greater worth than itself, but now the monkey was making a mockery of the situation by whooping and laughing even as the dragon thrashed its tail around trying to shake it off.
The Alphonse was having the time of his life, a blissful smile on his face and tears of joy welling up in his one good eye. |
_________________ http://creepybob.deviantart.com (Warning: Contains Horrors) |
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Aja Pajamazon
Joined: 21 Jul 2002 Posts: 2084 Location: Thataway
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:31 am Post subject: |
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Bravo! <3
Oh dear, I hope someone can get The Alphonse down safely. _________________ "The one concession a sane man will never yield the universe is that of considering it seriously."
~ James Branch Cabell |
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Tulsileaf Mink Sith Lord
Joined: 05 Apr 2005 Posts: 573 Location: Behind you.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 12:01 pm Post subject: |
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Sooo... end chapter 4?
_________________ Use your powers for gazpacho.
Donate and earn the right to say, "Tulsileaf exists thanks to me!" |
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Amarath Noble
Joined: 01 Sep 2009 Posts: 219 Location: Under your bed.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:28 am Post subject: |
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The dragon, seeing that thrashing would get her nowhere, tried a different tactic. "Good sir!" She shouted in a huff, "Kindly take your dirty little paws off of my tail before I smash you into a cliff!" _________________ It doesn't matter what skin color you are, all humans have the same guts and blood on the inside. Unless there's something wrong with your liver or something like that. You all taste horrible, too. |
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Creepy Bob Courtier
Joined: 01 Aug 2009 Posts: 71
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 5:56 am Post subject: |
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I coulda posted, I shoulda posted, I woulda posted, but I didn't post. Long story short, I've been hella busy lately, and I've also had to get back on my meds, the side effects of which make me kinda docile and lethargic. Sorry.
To answer Tulsi's question, nah, we haven't really reached a suitably DUN DUN DUNNN-worthy end-of-chapter conclusion yet, imo. Me, I'd suggest that the gang enlists the dragon's aid in taking the aerial route straight to wherever the queen is holed up. Somehow. How I don't know, being afflicted with writer's block right now. You guys just carry on from where Amarath stopped.
Some stuff to make amends:
A weird thing I noticed when drawing this, when you introduce carnivorous characteristics in a rabbit, it starts to look a bit like a cat.
Before he was the sweet Alphonse the Alphonse we all know and love, The Alphonse was Alphonse the Destroyer.
Also got a standalone pic of Missy in progress. _________________ http://creepybob.deviantart.com (Warning: Contains Horrors) |
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Tulsileaf Mink Sith Lord
Joined: 05 Apr 2005 Posts: 573 Location: Behind you.
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Posted: Fri May 11, 2012 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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Haha! Fantabulous work Creepy. Now I'm curious about the history of the Alphonse. Especially how he became a master chef. It could be worked into the story, perhaps in a future chapter. Not the chef thing, that's likely a novel of its own, "The Alphonse and the Heretics of Paris".
Righty-o, chapter 4 continues...
Quote: | "Sir, in the name of all that is good, would you let go? Can you understand me?" More exuberant whooping followed. The hairless monkey failed to respond as the dragon hoped. Fortunately a moment later she spied her home and shot towards it with all her strength.
An hour after sunset Missy and Jack came to a stop before town. In the distance stood a large castle; its white walls gleaming under the moonlight. |
In my first draft the dragon tries to smash the Alphonse into a cliff, faints and ends with both of them falling. I like this version better. Yes, sometimes I make drafts rather than posting the first thing I wrote. _________________ Use your powers for gazpacho.
Donate and earn the right to say, "Tulsileaf exists thanks to me!" |
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Creepy Bob Courtier
Joined: 01 Aug 2009 Posts: 71
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 5:51 am Post subject: |
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Ah, now this I can actually come up with some ideas for! :D
Quote: | Hollow-faced townsfolk peered suspiciously at them from dark doorways. Window shutters were slammed.
A man dressed in what must once have been the garb of nobility removed himself from a staring group gathered around a well.
"Ho there, travelers," he said. "Few folk come here these days. I'd suggest you turn around and go back the way you come from while you still can."
"Yeah? And who are you to say so?" said Jack, puffing himself up.
"If you'd excuse my friend's arrogance, that is a good question. Who are you?" wondered Missy.
"I am Lord Rasmuiz. I used to be the Baron of this town," said the ragged nobleman.
"Used to be? What happened?"
The Baron pointed a thumb over his shoulder, toward the castle.
"Dragon infestation."
In the dungeons beneath the largely demolished interior of the castle, the dragon stared uneasily at The Alphonse. She shifted uncomfortably on a noticeably meagre hoard. Small dragon wyrmlings hung upside down all over the ceiling, like bats.
"You are a most peculiar creature, monkey," the dragon said. "I never do this usually, but I would demand your name. Your kind do have names, yes? Although I scarcely understand the point of giving individual names to swarming, short-lived vermin."
The Alphonse let this pass. He'd met dragonkin before. "My name is Alphonse the Alphonse. The Alphonse would ask your name, o' dragon."
"I am called Allikan'allehak'akkariipahil."
"'Allikan'allehak'akkariipahil'," repeated The Alphonse, not even stumbling. "That's a lovely name for a dragon, The Alphonse thinks."
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Fun fact: Allikan'allehak'akkariipahil is "lihapiirakka kahdella nakilla" backwards, which translates to "meat pie with two sausages" in Finnish.
Finnish language, you so crazy with your longass words.
As for the history of The Alphonse, most of it is already hinted at in the story, with him getting tired of the constant carnage that adventuring entails, and also of getting piles from sitting on horseback for long stretches of time (a possible reason for his berserker rage? )
Working out the details would be fun though. _________________ http://creepybob.deviantart.com (Warning: Contains Horrors) |
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