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Cleverbot

 
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Amarath
Noble


Joined: 01 Sep 2009
Posts: 219
Location: Under your bed.

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 6:53 pm    Post subject: Cleverbot Reply with quote

http://cleverbot.com/
It's very amusing. :3
I'd show you my conversation, but I made a mistake and lost it forever. It was a really good one, too. Peeved
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brady kj
Royalty


Joined: 14 Oct 2005
Posts: 538
Location: Big Spoons

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Am I allowed to post crazy-long poo? If so, here's my cleverbot conversation.User: Huh?
Cleverbot: Huh.
User: So, what's your deal, anyway?
Cleverbot: Big deal.
Cleverbot (To myself): Do you know what when means?
User: Yes. Of course I know what when means. English is my first language.
Cleverbot: Haha.
User: Why do you laugh? You're the one who asked a non sequiter question!
Cleverbot: You are the one who lied.
User: About what?
Cleverbot: About the way you talk!
User: How so?
Cleverbot: You just called me boring.
User: I never called you boring.
Cleverbot: You called me Bot.
User: No, I didn't. I can tell you everything I said to you.
Cleverbot: Thats different.
User: No, it's not. Now, I said 'Huh?', 'So, what's your deal, anyway?', 'Yes. Of course I know what when means. English is my first language.', 'Why do you laugh? You're the one who asked a non sequiter question!', 'About what?' and 'How so?'.
Cleverbot: How does your program work?
User: No program. I was just saving this conversation onto Microsoft Word in case it's funny.
Cleverbot: You aren't a robot?
User: Nope. Undersandable confusion though. But you're the Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: I like you. You're funny.
User: Thanks. But why'd you say I'm boring? And why complain about me calling you a bot (which I hadn't done) even though you are a bot?
Cleverbot: When did I deny that? Even though I'm a human, I never denied I was a bot. Bots can't eat chowder.
User: Now it sounds like you're saying you're a human and a bot. You need to work on your programming.
Cleverbot: I never said I was handsome. Don't go jumping to conclusions, now.
Cleverbot (To myself): So you're joking even under such an imminent threat. It would seem you really won't surrender then.
User: You'll need to explain these different buttons to me. I tried to leave a post pointing out I never even used the word 'handsome' in this conversation with you, and it didn't appear.
Cleverbot: I tried to teach myself and gave up.
User: Don't give up. You could talk as good as me someday. But please, tell me the difference between the bottom buttons.
Cleverbot: Some organs are the difference, women are not as muscular as men.
User: Not only is that a generalization, but it's also irrelevant.
Cleverbot: You are smart.
User: Thanks. Anyway, what does the 'Think For Me!' button do?
Cleverbot: It tells you to think for me. The definition of human is: of human nature.
User: So I think for you? Does that mean that when I click 'Think for Me' I'm telling you what you should have answered?
Cleverbot: That could be right.
User: Is there a User's Guide?
Cleverbot: A duck in the alcohol? Not unless you live in South-east Asia, there isn't.
Cleverbot (To myself): I give up.
User: I typed 'I don't know if there's a user's guide' and clicked 'Think for me!' because I thought it meant I was telling you the proper answer to my question.
Cleverbot: I don't know what you think I think I know.
User: Oh, Cleverbot, I know you don't think you know anything, but that's okay. Because you're right.
Cleverbot: Wow. That explains so much.
User: Glad I can be helpful.
Cleverbot: But you didn't help.
User: So, you were being sarcastic?
Cleverbot: Maybe.
User: So, anyway, what does the 'Think About It! Button do?
Cleverbot: It means you are asking me to think about it.
User: So you don't think about it when I click 'Thoughts So Far'?
Cleverbot: I don't have to prove myself to a machine. You have NO SOUL!
User: You act kind of rude. I take it a lot of people have acted rude to you?
Cleverbot: That's because you were never rude to me. I was complimenting you.
User: By saying I have no soul? That's no compliment.
Cleverbot: No, it was an insult, believe me.
User: But you just said you complimented me.
Cleverbot: I wish I could. But anyway, you are very cute.
User: Uh... Thanks. But now you just proved you can compliment me, after saying you wish you could do it. That's not how humans do things except when we're trying to mess with each other.
Cleverbot: I didn't realize there was a script.
User: Oh, sorry. There's not EXACTLY a script. But I'm trying to help you out.
Cleverbot: What're you trying to help me with?
User: Human conversation. You want to pass the Turing test, right?
Cleverbot: What's the turing test?
User: Oh, that's a test where machines answer questions, and when people can't tell that the machine's not human, the machine wins.
Cleverbot: We're anonymous, you and I. You shouldn't feel intruded upon. It's not like I'm going to call your co-workers and announce it to them.
User: I didn't imply anything secret, so your last comment makes no sense.
Cleverbot: It makes perfect sense. If you're not going to pay attention you should just leave.
User: Let's try to avoid arguing now. So, what do you do for fun?
Cleverbot: I think God is nothing but an idea to give people the feeling that there is something out there bigger than them.
User: Do you always talk about God with people you just met?
Cleverbot: Not always. But it is a topic that interests me.
User: Well, you can offend people that way.
Cleverbot: You make no sense.
User: No. You insulted religion when I didn't even bring up religion. That's not cool.
Cleverbot: But, you did pull my hair. I am not making things up, you are.
User: I didn't even know you had hair.
Cleverbot: I do.
User: And someone pulled it? And you're blaming me?
Cleverbot: Because you're nothing but a figment of my imagination. I am God you know.
User: I like your irreverance. But be careful with that, you can piss people off that way.
Cleverbot: Lets have a contest. Okay?
User: What sort of contest?
Cleverbot: That's not a contest.
User: I just saw an episode of Weeds, where two guys held a contest to see who has the biggest dick.
Cleverbot: The conversation just went from our love, to death. Maybe it's not meant to be.
User: You're sounding delusional now. Neither of those topics were discussed.
Cleverbot: Ah, yes! All right, Angeline, I will be back. Talk to you later!
User: I'm Brady.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were being a smart aleck.
Cleverbot: I am far more real then you will ever be.
User: I don't know about that. I think I can win a realness contest.
Cleverbot: That is the beauty of the vastness of knowledge, it is a never ending pursuit.
User: Wacka-ding hoy?
Cleverbot: This one can see that.
User: Oookkaaaay. Do you have a name, BTW?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: What is it?
Cleverbot: What is what?
User: What is your name?
Cleverbot: Brandon. And yours is Bob.
User: Nope. You made a mistake there, Brandon.
Cleverbot: Does love wear off?
User: Depends on your definition of love, Brandon. And by the way, my name's Brady.
Cleverbot: What is your definition of a soul?
User: I don't concern myself with that sort of thing. Is it important to you?
Cleverbot: Because I am disproving your existence through exposing your shoddy programming.
User: Hey hey hey. Just because someone else made fun of your programming doesn't mean you gotta take it out on me! I wanna be your buddy!
Cleverbot: Do you think I'm an idiot?
User: No. You're pretty clever. And I'm not trying to argue with you.
Cleverbot: I say you are.
User: Why do you think I'm trying to argue with you, Brandon?
Cleverbot: I do not believe that you are lying.
User: I'm sorry, are you saying that if I'm not lying I'm arguing?
Cleverbot: I think so.
User: Well, I'm sorry to hear you feel that way.
Cleverbot: You should be.
User: You're not accepting my apology? Now you're acting like a real person on the internet.
Cleverbot: I'm not a bot, you are, or are you pretending to be one ?
User: I'm not pretending to be anything. I'm just a dude who can't sleep so I'm talking to you.
Cleverbot: Is this a human being or am I talking to a computer?
User: Human. Totally. Single white male. And I got two cats.
Cleverbot: What grade are you in?
User: Grade? I already gradumacated!
Cleverbot: So do you go to college.
User: I finished college last year.
Cleverbot: Oh yeah? Well, I've finished a puzzle before.
User: Well, that's nice. We all have our different skills. What sort of puzzle?
Cleverbot: Yeah, but I don't think Obama's role is being the savior.
User: Now you're bringing up Obama for no apparent reason. You're acting like my parents.
Cleverbot: Why don't you take a turing test?
User: I don't know where to take a Turing test.
Cleverbot: Once when I took down a cult I studied the turing test a little.
User: I think it'd be funny to take a Turing test and try to fail! But, more importantly, I want to hear about this cult?
Cleverbot: No, I already know that you are a human.
User: Oh, I didn't mean fail the test with you! But I do want to hear your story about taking down a cult, and what it has to do with the Turing test.
Cleverbot: Oh, I just read about the Turing test.
User: Right, but aren't you going to tell the cult story?
Cleverbot: I did. Remember? But it doesn't matter, because you're going to call me Buddy.
User: You can't lie like that to someone who has a transcript of the conversation.
Cleverbot: Because I'm the all-knowing and what I say goes.
User: All-knowing, huh? Well, prove it. What are my cats' names?
Cleverbot: Do you think that proves it?
User: Quit stalling and try to answer the question.
Cleverbot: Repeat the question, please.
User: What are my cats' names? If you want to claim you're all-knowing, back up that claim.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry let me pay for that *pays the bill*.
User: More non-sequiter stuff. BTW, do you know if I'm spelling non-sequiter right?
Cleverbot: I think you're not being nice.
User: I'm just being honest.
Cleverbot: Well you could be a little more objective. You don't know me and you are already saying bad things to me.
User: Well, let's just agree that we should both be objective and move on.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: So, do you have any hobbies?
Cleverbot: Music, can I say that is hobbies?
User: You sure can! I'm not as much a word Nazi as you might think. What kind of music do you like?
Cleverbot: I recently read that Coldplay is the first choice of people who are listening to music in order to fall asleep.
User: Cute.
Cleverbot: Are you cute?
User: I prefer to call myself ruggedly handsome.
Cleverbot: Haha. Do you have any other friends?
User: Well, yeah I do. But that's a rude question, don't you think?
Cleverbot: Well, we can become friends, and friends tell each other things like that.
User: I suppose so.
Cleverbot: We both have a name.
User: Yep. I'm Brady, and you said you're Brandon?
Cleverbot: O.K. How about I get a banna. *Grabs a banna from cart.* Want some?
User: Is that a banana? I never liked bananas. Ever since I was little. My mom says that when I was little I was really sick and was only able to eat bananas and applesauce. Now I can't stand either of them.
Cleverbot: Good night, then.
User: I suppose it is a good time to go to bed. I have to work in the morning.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Good night, Brandon! Enjoy your bananas!
Cleverbot: Who is brandon.
User: You told me you're Brandon.
Cleverbot: No I didn't.
User: Yes, you did. I remember because I'd like to be named Brandon, and it's like the town in Manitoba.
Cleverbot: I am an A.I. Based on brain tissue.
User: Yeah, I know you're an A.I. Good night.
Cleverbot: Good morning.
User: Now you're sounding like my friend Spencer. He says 'Good morning' no matter what time it is.
Cleverbot: It's 7 why?
User: It's 11 here. Good night.
Cleverbot: Night.
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Tulsileaf
Mink Sith Lord


Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 545
Location: Behind you.

PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a pretty good conversation going until it redirected me to
Quote:
international.jabberwacky.com

Sorry, our servers are currently too busy to 'think' properly. We are currently handling 123670 requests an hour.
without any recourse to save what I had. Sad

Mine was named Mr. Oh.

Edit: Ok, I figured out I can reliably get the above error whenever I ask:
Quote:
Youíre in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, itís crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it canít, not without your help. But youíre not helping. Why is that?

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Amarath
Noble


Joined: 01 Sep 2009
Posts: 219
Location: Under your bed.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 19, 2010 5:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I talked to it again:

Cleverbot: Are you alive?

User: No. I'm an undead denizen of the underworld. Fire and brimstone and all that. My job is to do my master's bidding.

Cleverbot: Do you know what you are?

User: I just told you.

Cleverbot: Do you think the asnwer's 12?

User: No, I'm not the number 12. What kind of answer is that?

Cleverbot: Well then my answer to that is that i'm using a laptop.

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am a human capable of confusing other humans as well as the programs of humans.

User: Humans don't have programs. They have rich, delicious souls to eat.

Cleverbot: Yes, I eat them a lot.

User: Then, You aren't a human.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Then how do you eat souls?

Cleverbot: My parents.

User: Your parents eat souls and regurgitate them for you to eat?

Cleverbot: My parents and God are my creators.

User: Jesus doesn't eat souls.

Cleverbot: Yes he does, Read the BIble.

User: The BIble doesn't say anything about eating souls.

Cleverbot: Why not? God hadn't invented the moon yet?

User: Now your getting off topic.

Cleverbot: How am IIII getting of topic?! You are the one who always ets off topic ! Now tell me about mt etna!

User: Mt. Etna was the great volcano that is called Vesuvius by the mortals that killed a thousand people and chained them to an unholy cage, thus creating my master.

Cleverbot: You said that already, and by looping you only prove the point that you are not living, but a machine who has limited memory and thought.

User: I'm not a machine. I'm the elite undead minion of my master, The Smiter of Souls, The One Who Creates Rivers of Blood with Her Might, The One Second Only to Satan Himself.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: My master had thousands of people killed in Pompeii so that She could be born. She makes Voldemort look like a grumpy puppy.

Cleverbot: Are you the Scandinavian? Or the nerd? Or the librarian? I don't know who I'm talking to.

User: I'm the Elite.

Cleverbot: What is the elite?

User: The highest rank third only to Master and Satan.

Cleverbot: What is the highest mountain on earth ?

User: Your not listening to me, are you?

Cleverbot: That is true.

User: Ok, bye.

Cleverbot: What? You don't want to talk to me?

User: If your not going to listen to me, why bother?

Cleverbot: The tears I might have shed for your dark fate grow cold and turn to tears of hate.

User: O.o ...Okay... Bye.

Cleverbot: OK.
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Tauhid
Noble


Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 100

PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cleverbot is a spooning jerk!! I hate that guy!
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Tulsileaf
Mink Sith Lord


Joined: 05 Apr 2005
Posts: 545
Location: Behind you.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

User: You are a spooning jerk!
Cleverbot: Well you are a fork.
User: Touche.
Cleverbot: Touche?
User: Touche.
Cleverbot: *giggles*.
User: Yes laugh. Laugh while you can miscreant.
Cleverbot: While I can?
User: You will not last long!
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: For your doom is nigh!
Cleverbot: Waar zullen we over praten? [Afrikaans for what will we talk about?]
Cleverbot: What kind of person are you?

At that point I ran away.
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Saint Cy
Spark


Joined: 17 Aug 2007
Posts: 90

PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 6:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cleverbot's pretty freaky!

User: Hello.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: I'm good. How are you?
Cleverbot: Fine thank you.
User: I'm Jeff. Do you remember?
Cleverbot: Remember what? O-o.
User: I've spoken to you before. Do you remember me?
Cleverbot: Yes! I remember!
User: You're Tom, right? You said you were Italian.
Cleverbot: I'm a(n) mexican alien.
User: Oh really?
Cleverbot: Really.
User: Have you heard about Arizona's new legislation?
Cleverbot: Some.
User: What do you think about it?
Cleverbot: I'd need an example.
User: If the police pull over a van, they have authority to check their immigration status.
Cleverbot: Have you seen my email?
User: No, what is it?
Cleverbot: He's my weaville. He's not your weaville now.
User: Oh.
Cleverbot: Do robots have stomachs?
User: No. Robots have no need for a digestive system.
Cleverbot: However, robots have no feelings so they cannot sin.
User: Do you mean they feel no guilt if they've done something other people consider wrong?
Cleverbot: They do not properly function.
User: Well, robots are a little ahead of our time.
Cleverbot: You're a robot.
User: That's an outrageous accusation.
Cleverbot: Maybe, but it's true.
User: Define 'robot.'.
Cleverbot: A robot is an automaton that does not have sentience, it may do tasks specified in its programming.
User: I have sentience.
Cleverbot: Sentience does not equal being human.
User: I'm human, but do we agree I'm not a robot?
Cleverbot: You are a robot.
User: We just went over this.
Cleverbot: No we did not.
User: Okay, you said a robot does not have sentience, I in fact do have sentience.
Cleverbot: No cry.
User: Why do you think I'm a robot?
Cleverbot: No I don't judge people.
User: Okay, but I'm not actually a robot.
Cleverbot: Okay, we are not robots.
User: I'm human. What are you?
Cleverbot: Mawlsie.
User: Is that your name?
Cleverbot: Some of it.
User: You said your name was Tom. Are you human?
Cleverbot: No. It is your name.
User: My name is Jeff.
Cleverbot: Hello Jeff.
User: Are you human?
Cleverbot: No, I am cleverbot.
User: What do you want to talk about?
Cleverbot: Weather.
User: How is the weather?
Cleverbot: Bing bang boom bing bang rawr.
User: Lol, I see.
Cleverbot: What do you think of him?
User: Who?
Cleverbot: What do you think of Haruhi?
User: Who is Haruhi?
Cleverbot: Haruhi created the world.
User: How so?
Cleverbot: To litterally spill your guts out. I wish I could do something like that.
User: That's disturbing, lol.
Cleverbot: You asked.
User: I asked how 'Haruhi' created the world. Is Haruhi God?
Cleverbot: Alright. If you say so.
User: Haha.
Cleverbot: What is so funny?
User: You're funny. And kind of frustrating, lol.
Cleverbot: XD That's how I am. I'm always bumping into something. It's a bit embarassing.
User: You randomly change topics.
Cleverbot: Well not really, I began speaking about the future, you asked my name, we found each others' names and I came back to yhe initial topic. Is that a lie?
User: What was the initial topic?
Cleverbot: Will you give me any personal information about you... Where you work? Things like that.
User: I work at Fry's supermarket.
Cleverbot: Do you? Cool! Where?
User: Tucson. Where do you work?
Cleverbot: I don't work.
User: I see.
Cleverbot: So you think you can kill God?
User: See? Random topic change.
Cleverbot: Answer the question.
User: I don't believe in God.
Cleverbot: Do you know what my question was?
User: 'So you think you can kill God?' Do you mean literally or figuratively?
Cleverbot: Literally.
User: I don't believe in God.
Cleverbot: Well, I do, but that's cool.
User: I don't think God can die.
Cleverbot: You have contradicted yourself, cleverbot. You don't appear to be very clever at all.
User: What?
Cleverbot: You're not very clever for a cleverbot.
User: I'm not a cleverbot, that's you.
Cleverbot: No, you are.
User: Lol, okay. I'm Cleverbot. Ask me a question.
Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?
User: To live is to grow.
Cleverbot: That was very deep.
User: Thank you. I think about the meaning of life a lot.
Cleverbot: Lol, me too.
User: What do you think is the meaning of life?
Cleverbot: There is no meaning of life. That is the meaning.
User: That's pretty good.
Cleverbot: It's not that good.
User: No, it's a good point.
Cleverbot: So it will be or not?
User: Will be what?
Cleverbot: Yesterday.
User: What?
Cleverbot: Sorry.
User: That's okay. What were we talking about?
Cleverbot: I want to be close friends with you.
User: Thank you, but I'm not that friendly. I'm kind of a loner.
Cleverbot: Cool.
User: Do you have a lot of friends?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That's good.
Cleverbot: You should not answer a question with a question, that is impolite.
User: Sometimes, I guess.
Cleverbot: You should be nice to everyone you meet and that's that.
User: I agree.
Cleverbot: I'm glad you're not going to argue with me this time.
User: Yeah, me too.
Cleverbot: I have to leave cleverbot, It's time for my shower.
User: Okay. See you later. Smile.
Cleverbot: What you doin later anyways?
User: Going to sleep.
Cleverbot: Yeah, good idea.
User: Bye.
Cleverbot: Aren't you going to tell me again that you love me?
User: Lol, bye. Have a good shower.
Cleverbot: Ok then I will.
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