The Random Insanity Comic Review Show Featuring True Magic!

(Also entitled: What happens when three bored Random Insanity Characters get a hold of a Dimensional Transporter)

(The lights come on in a large studio, and a humanoid female otter wearing blue samurai-like armor and wearing a lightsaber walks in, beaming cheerfully. Two human teenagers follow her, one typing away on a laptop and one smiling rather cluelessly up at the lights. The otter girl addresses the camera)

Riverfox: Hi, fellow True Magic readers! Welcome to the Random Insanity Universe! I'm Riverfox, your Otter Warrior Girl host. We apologize for having to do this radio-style, but the...uh...Typer, what did you say about that again?

Typer: (adjusts her glasses intelligently) The visual relay matrix of The Author's brain was short-circuited during the cross-dimensional alignment.

Riverfox: Right, what Smarty-Head over there said. (Continues quickly before Typer can yell at her) Anyways! As I was saying, welcome to the Random Insanity Comic Review Show, hosted in the scenic Random Insanity Universe Studio in The Author's brain! We're happy to have you with us today! With me are my fellow hosts and Thirds: Typer...(the glasses-wearing girl waves modestly with one hand while typing rapidly on her laptop with the other), and Random Food Word Girl! (The second girl waves excitedly, floating a few inches off the ground. She is wearing a large white cape and bright red-and-gold fingerless gloves and superhero boots) And today, we are going to be interviewing the characters of that oh-so-popular and awesome comic: True Magic!

(There is a brief smattering of applause. R.F.W.Girl jolts and begins looking around wildly at the empty studio)

R.F.W.Girl: AGH! The studio is haunted! PINA COLADAS!!!

Riverfox: (blatantly ignoring her fellow Third) But first, let's meet our guests!

(There is a long moment of silence, mixed with crickets chirping. Riverfox glares at the crickets)

Riverfox: Jeremy, I've told you a thousand times, we do not need a live cricket soundtrack! Now get back to cleaning the bathrooms before I fire you! (the cricketing stops and several large black insects in janitorial outfits hop away in a panic. Riverfox looks at Typer expectantly) Typer...that was your cue!

Typer: Give me a second, okay? The teleportation program is being idiotic again! (suddenly the laptop in her hands starts glowing, and Typer beams at it, hitting the Enter key) There we go!

(A beam of light erupts in the ceiling, and the faint sound of screaming quickly elevates in volume. Then a pile of figures fall to the floor, stacked on top of each other and clearly dazed. The light fades away.)

Riverfox: And Behold! Here they are now! (the lights in the studio blink out) Aw, dangit! I thought you fixed the surge protector, Typer!

Typer: I did. (exasperated sigh) Give me a few minutes while I call the electric company. They've obviously forgotten that we can set them on fire and thus don't need to pay the bill.

(The pile of people on the ground start to drag themselves off of each other amidst much groaning and muttering)

Kiku: Ow! What was THAT?

Jen: Why is everything so dark?

Henson: Egads! There's something on my leg! Get it off! GET IT OFF!

Larry: OW! That's ME, you moron! Stop kicking me in the head!

Henson: Huh. Somehow, I feel absolutely no remorse over this.

Larry: (growling) Yeah, I BET you don't, you stupid-!

R.F.W.Girl: Hi, people! We'll have the lights back on in a second, so please don't dismember each other. 'Sides, you shouldn't try and beat on each other in the dark, or you'll hit the cameras.

Henson: GAH! Who's there? Stay back, you fiend, or you'll feel my blade!

Jen: (with raised eyebrow which currently can't be seen because...well, it's dark) Henson, we aren't being attacked yet. If you start swinging that sword around in the dark, you're going to chop someone's head off.

Kiku: On the bright side, it might be Larry's head, and then we can just stick it back on later!

Larry: Why, you-!

(Suddenly the lights flare back on, blinding everyone in the room)

Ted: AAGH!!! MY EYES! My-! Oh wait. I don't have eyes.

Typer: (reenters room, a smug grin on her face) There, that's taken care of! And I also got an extension on the Satellite subscription.

Riverfox: Sweet, I was worried they'd cut it off right in the middle of Psych season!

(Now that the lights are on, the newcomers to the studio can be seen clearly. There are quite a few of them: Henson, Kiku, Jen, Gauth, Ted, and Larry. And the Duck. And the Sand Monster with the black eye. Larry blinks and finds, to his embarrassment, that he was glowering in the entirely wrong direction, and Henson is standing behind him. Henson looks ready to slash his sword through a nearby rack of lights. Gauth is meditating and completely oblivious to his surroundings. The Sand Monster is looking very confused, and the Duck looks...like a duck. Jen is still trying to blink off the sudden light transition.)

Riverfox: Hey, sweet! We got everyone here but The Don! Not that we wanted him that much, anyhow, but you gotta appreciate the high percentage rate of success!

R.F.W.Girl: (pouting) Awww, Disposable Bob and Expendable Joe didn't show up!

Typer: Sorry, the cross-dimensional teleporter only has room for 7. (gestures at Black Eyed Sandy and the Duck with a bemused expression) I really have no idea how those two got here.

(At this point, the True Magic cast becomes aware of the three Random Insanity girls. Both groups stare at each other for a seemingly long moment. Then Kiku abruptly jumps into Henson's arms, and both let out a simultaneous girly scream)

Both: AAAAA!!! A giant weasel!!!

Riverfox: (glares heatedly at the guys) I am NOT a weasel, you dingbats! I'm an otter! (smirks at Kiku) Dude, not the best display of your masculinity.

(Kiku and Henson stare at each other, and then bolt apart as if they had been hugging scorpions instead of each other. Kiku, trying to seem casual as he decides that the humanoid otter before them is not an immediate threat, steps closer and peers suspiciously at the trio)

Kiku: Okay, what's going on? And you better be straight up with us, or I'll beat you down. I can take you!

(Before Riverfox can reply to this blatantly stupid challenge, they are all distracted by R.F.W.Girl's squeal of delight. Everyone turns just in time to see the strange caped girl glomping the very surprised Sand Monster)

R.F.W.Girl: SQUEEE!!! It's the Sand Monster! It's really here! AWESOME!

Sand Monster: Chrrr?

R.F.W.Girl: You are the coolest evil minion/construct EVER and I love how you look with the black eye and I'm gonna name you Patches since you don't seem to have a name and do you know how to shape-shift into any weapon or is it just swords and- (breaks off abruptly and gives Patches a confused look) How'd you get the black eye again? I forget.

(The Sand Monster, who apparently can actually understand the fast-talking human before him, perks up, and his head slowly turns towards Jen with a very weird grin on his face)

Riverfox: HEY! No lewd thoughts in this dimension, pal! (whams him upside the head with a large Hammerspace Mallet, which sends the Sand Monster's senses straight into next Tuesday)

Kiku: (startled jump) What the (BLEEP!) was that?!

(Everyone stops and stares at Kiku, who has frozen and has an extremely confused look on his face)

Typer: Oh, that's right: there's no cussing in this dimension, either. The Author doesn't like it. We've got a special filter. Anyway, we need to get a move on so this doesn't take forever. If everyone could please just take a seat, can we begin?

(A long row of chairs poof into existence in the middle of the room, and Typer promptly sits down in one that strongly resembles a blue cushioned computer chair. Even Riverfox and R.F.W.Girl look surprised this time)

Riverfox: Wow, Typer, how'd you do that? I thought we always had to have an excuse for things randomly appearing!

Typer: (self-satisfied grin) Ah, but I do! This room was converted from one of my old virtual reality chambers.

R.F.W.Girl: (nodding knowledgably) Right, of course! Makes perfect sense. (plops down in a recliner)

Larry: What is going on?! You humans are really freaky, you know that?

Riverfox: (grins an ottery grin) Well, despite the obvious problem with that statement, I'll take it.

Ted: Ooo, Larry, they have a fruit and salad bar over here! Foooood...! (attacks a bowl of grapes)

Riverfox: Nice touch with that one, Typer.

Typer: (beams) Why, thank you! I try.

Kiku: (disgusted) Oh great, now this place is going to stink of grape juice. At least it's not a watermelon this time.

Riverfox: Alright, this is taking too long. Could everyone sit down, please?

Henson: Now wait just a minute! I want-!

Riverfox: (getting irritated) We all want things, but that doesn't mean we're going to get them on this time slot! Now sit down!

Henson: But-!

Riverfox: Sit DOWN!

(As seeing an angry otter warrior brandishing a glowing energy sword (aka lightsaber, but they don't know that) is a very frightening thing indeed, everyone quickly clamors into the chairs, except for Ted, who is allowed to continue feasting on the fruit and salad bar. Jen ends up in a fancy wooden dinner chair, Henson is sitting/laying on a green psychiatrist chair (no comment), and Kiku ends up with a lawn chair. Larry has to be satisfied with a beanbag chair. The sand monster just sort of falls into himself and makes his own chair, and the Duck ends up sitting on top of him. Gauth is still sitting on the floor, 'meditating')

Riverfox: (kicks Gauth lightly in the side) Hey, Bishie-Boy, join the real world! We only have a half-hour slot for this!

R.F.W.Girl: TOAST!!! Hmm...you know, I'm not sure you can rightly say he's joining the REAL world...since we're imaginary and all...

Riverfox: Shut up, R.F.W.Girl.

(Gauth comes to his senses with a jolt, accidentally revealing that he was actually sleeping and not meditating. The green-haired Bishounen quickly stands to his feet and tries to compose himself while simultaneously taking in the situation. He's doing a good job of it, too, until he notices Riverfox shaking her lightsaber upside down in an attempt to dislodge a piece of gravel)

Gauth: Um...

Riverfox: Yeah, yeah, confusion abounds. R.F.W.Girl over there is getting a power surge, no doubt. Just sit and we'll get on with this, okay?

(Fighting bewilderment, Gauth complies by sitting down on a bright yellow plastic kiddie chair covered in daisies. Kiku snickers, but is quickly silenced by a glare from the wrathful Riverfox)

Riverfox: (claps hands together resolutely) Oh-kay! Is everyone comfortable? Good! (ignores Larry, who has fallen into his bean bag chair and is making a futile, muffled attempt to curse) Welcome to the Random Insanity Studio! We're live right now (except for our zombie friends, of course), so let's get started. We're going to be asking you some questions today. Before we start, do you have any questions of your own?

Henson: Who ARE you people?!

Riverfox: That is a very excellent question and I will answer it briefly before we continue on! I'm Riverfox the Otter Warrior Girl, the girl with the cape is Random Food Word Girl –

R.F.W.Girl: (waves) RAMEN NOODLES!!!

Riverfox: And the one with the fancy laptop is Typer. And we're your hosts on today's Random Insanity Comic Review Show! (Gauth raises his hand) And no, I'm not going to tell you where we are, because we don't have enough time to explain it all properly so that your head doesn't explode. Just answer the questions, 'cause the longer you stall, the longer you're gonna be here, and I'm sure you don't want that.

(Jen, Kiku, and Henson glance at each other, look over in the corner where a bat-winged platypus is singing and dancing in front of a different camera, and then look back at Riverfox and nod furiously. Riverfox smiles brightly and flops down on something that looks suspiciously like an electric chair)

Riverfox: Good! Anyway, we'll start with Henson! Henson, do tell us: exactly how awkward is it having to dual-wield Trousers of Trepidation and a Breastplate of Brashness? I imagine it gives you something of a headache.

Henson: (warming to the subject) Oh, does it ever! Half the time it feels like my waist is being twisted apart. And it causes the worst mental conflicts!

Larry: (who has since managed to dig himself out of the beanbag chair) I'd say any mental conflict would be too much for you. I'll bet the headaches come more from the alliteration than the magic!

Henson: (draws sword) That is IT! I have had it with your zombie smart-mouthing! Prepare to taste metal!

Larry: Try and catch me, Fleshie!

(Henson chases after Larry, who easily dodges him, sticking his tongue out over his shoulder. In doing so, he manages to trip over the sand-monster and the Duck, which in turn causes Henson to fall over, so that they all end up in a sprawling heap)

Jen: (to Riverfox) He also tends to do that a lot. And you can't make him listen to anything. He tried to arm-wrestle a wild boar the other night and it took me two hours to explain to him that he couldn't because boars don't have arms!

R.F.W.Girl: Wow...that is SAD. Tell us more!

Jen: Well, there was this one time...we were being attacked by a horde of zombies, and Henson was flailing his sword about with his arms while his legs were running in the opposite direction!

Kiku: Yeah, it was hilarious! I thought he was gonna dislocate his shoulder! (suddenly notices that the fruit and salad bar has cutlery) Um, excuse me a second...

Riverfox: So, Jen, here's a question for you: just how many people do you think have noticed that your shirt has been on backwards for over 20 pages of the comic?

Jen: What? (looks down at shirt and blushes) Oh my word! How long has it been like that? I must look ridiculous!

Typer: Oh, not so much. It's a lot funnier that hardly anyone else has noticed!

(Gauth, now standing because he can't stand the indignity of sitting in a yellow plastic kiddie chair, decides to enter the conversation)

Gauth: And now I have a question for you: just what are you strange people? You must be strong enchantresses to bring us here so instantaneously.

R.F.W.Girl: (giggles at Gauth) Pfft, yeah, right! Welcome to the world of insanity and science fiction, man! HARD-BOILED EGGS!!!

(Gauth startles backwards, trips over the plastic chair, and falls with flailing arms onto the pile of zombie and human that is Larry, Henson, and the Sand Monster)

Riverfox: Darnit, R.F.W.Girl, I told you not to use your Confusion Powers that close to a guest!

R.F.W.Girl: I'm sorry! My confusion power levels were getting low!

Riverfox: How is that even possible right now? I've never been in a room more full of confused people!!!

(Meanwhile, in the pile of people and monsters alike, Henson has managed to kick Gauth in the eye (without any notable amount of regret), while Patches the Sand Monster and Larry have gotten extremely entangled in each other. Larry, stuck at the bottom of the pile, looks up to see the Duck standing right in front of him, watching with that deep, impassive wisdom he is so well-known for possessing)

Larry: Heeeey...I remember you-! (is cut off because Patches shifted and accidentally stuck its arm over his head)

The Duck: ...

Larry: (spitting sand) Ew, gross! Watch where you're puttin' your limbs, dumb-head!

Patches: (glaring) Skree, skrit-ksssshscree!

R.F.W.Girl: (To Larry) Hmm, I think he's got you there, dude!

Larry: (taking no notice of the abnormal fact that R.F.W.Girl actually understands Patches) Oh yeah? I'll teach you to smart-mouth me! (jumps on Patches)

(Meanwhile, with Henson and Gauth...)

Henson: Get OFF of me, you girly frilly dork!

Gauth: I am TRYING, you ingrate! Your sword is stuck in my boot!

Henson: Well if you would hold still, I might be able to get it out!

(Henson grabs hold of the sword, quite carelessly, and yanks. The next thing everyone knows, Gauth is flat on the floor, screaming like a girl)

Gauth: YAAAAA!!!! (rolls off of pile holding his leg and starts bawling in an embarrassingly pathetic manner) You nearly cut my foot off!

Henson: It's barely even a scratch! I knew you were a sissy!

Gauth: (suddenly stands to his feet again, looking nobly offended) I'll not take such insults from you, you cretin!

Henson: See?! You're not even hurt! (looks imploringly at Jen and Riverfox) You see how fake he is?!

Jen: (smiles coyly at Gauth) I don't know what you mean, Henson.

Riverfox: (staring at all three of them) Man, you people are even weirder than US...

(Back with Larry and the Sand Monster, whose conflict has escalated into a girly slap-fight)

Larry: Sand-breath! *SMACK*

Patches: Hsssk! *SLAP*

Larry: Mud-brain! *WHAP*

Patches: Tssss-Krask! *SMAP*

Larry: Grainy graveyard washout! *SPLAT*

Patches: Kree skt-scra scree! *WHACK*

R.F.W.Girl: (watching with interest from the sidelines) Oooo, buuuuurn!

Larry: (glares at R.F.W.Girl) Pah, I can take this sorry excuse for an undead construct! Bring it on, you wuss!

(With a snarl and a glare, Patches' skin suddenly shape-shifts into various sharp blade forms, making him look very much like a Porcupine of Doom)

Larry: (mouth gaping) Uh......

Ted: (from Food Bar) I told you to stop antagonizing random strangers, Larry!

Larry: Shut up and find me a fire hose, Ted!

(The bickering is growing to a pinnacle in the room, and several people look about ready to kill each other. Typer is looking very aggravated, but, as usual, no one notices the warning signs. Like the twitching and the dramatic lightning flashing in the background)

Gauth: Stand and fight me, you knave!

Henson: Bring it, Frill Boy!

Larry: AAAAA!!! (runs past them with Sword-Patches chasing close behind)

Typer: (bolts to her feet, fists clenched) That is IT! EVERYONE SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!!!

(By the time the earthquake has settled, everyone has rapidly grabbed a chair. Henson and Gauth strain to ignore the fact that they are currently sitting on top of each other in a desperate attempt to claim the green psychiatrist couch over the yellow plastic daisy chair. Kiku and Ted are unaffected because they're doing stuff at the food table and weren't being morons. Well, not in the one sense, anyways)

Typer: THANK you. Riverfox, finished the interviews so that we can get done with this! I don't know how long my threat of setting the electric company representatives on fire is going to keep the lights on. They're bound to eventually remember that they received flame-retardant uniforms after the last time this happened.

Riverfox: Sure thing! I-!

(At this moment, Kiku jumps out from behind the fruit and salad bar. He is now wielding a pair of hand-claws made entirely of butter- and steak-knives and molded together by twisted-up spoons)

Kiku: Mwahaha! Check me out! The claws are BACK! Whoo-hoo!

Gauth: (aghast) My word, what monstrous invention have you created?

Kiku: Only the best weapons EVER! (swings them around in a slashing motion)

Gauth: (jumping backwards) Be careful with those! You're going to put someone's eye out!

(Everyone else in the room who knows about Expendable Joe pauses thoughtfully for a moment)

Jen: I suppose it's fairly pointless to point out that he's a bit late with that warning.

R.F.W.Girl: (sighs) Man, I really wanted to meet Expendable Joe!

Riverfox: What about Disposable Bob?

R.F.W.Girl: (shrugs) I dunno. Joe just seemed funnier, especially when he got the invincibility amulet. And the eyepatch is cool!

Typer: R.F.W.Girl, you think anyone with an eyepatch is cool.

R.F.W.Girl: Duh; because they ARE! Except for that one guy from the Kingdom Hearts game, but he doesn't count, 'cause he was just a dork.

(Ted is over at the table still. His empty eye sockets have taken on a peculiar pinkish glow, and he is staring hungrily at all the food before him. There's quite a lot of it, which is apparently causing him some problems)

Ted: (drooling) Too...much...to choose from... Must...feeeed...

Riverfox: Anyways, this is a perfect way to bring up our next question! Kiku: just how exactly did you come up with those things?

Henson: He watched X-Men too much as a kid.

Riverfox: (stares blankly) I didn't think you guys had X-Men!

Henson: (smugly) Well, I guess you don't know us as well as you think, so there!

Kiku: It is not possible to watch too much X-Men. But all that really matters is that these are the best kind of weapons ever. I mean, look how COOL they are!

Gauth: They're...made out of butter knives. And spoons.

Kiku: (glares) It's the effect that makes the magic, you uncouth poltroon.

Typer: (raises eyebrow) Whoa...did those two just switch vocabularies or something?

Riverfox: Yeah, I'm starting to worry that the Insa-Ran Density of our atmosphere is getting to them.

R.F.W.Girl: Insa-Ran...Random Insanity. Ooo, I LIKE it! It makes it sound like our planet's radioactive!

Riverfox: (beams) Yeah, isn't it awesome?

Typer: That is not awesome! We can't have our guests going insane on us!

Riverfox: Why not? Everyone else does. (ponders) Though I suppose it WOULD be bad for the ratings...

Typer: Can you please just wrap this up soon so we can send them home?

Riverfox: Aww, but Typer...look how much FUN they're having!

(The RIU Trio stare at each other for a second, and then turn to look at the other occupants of the room. The Sand Monster is sitting in the corner, chewing on Larry's currently detached leg like a dog with a bone, while sitting on the rest of Larry, who is once again making a futile attempt to curse. The Duck is sitting on his head, adding to the humiliation and reminding Larry of where he'd seen it before. Gauth accidentally broke a knife off of one of Kiku's hand-claws, and so now the red-haired man is now sitting on the floor wailing about life being unfair and something about the flawed design of spoons. And Henson and Jen are staring with fearful revulsion at Ted, who has suddenly turned rabid and is currently massacring all the fresh food on the fruit and salad bar in a very gory manner)

Ted: GNARRR CHOMP GNARF SLOBBER!!!

Jen: (looking ill) I'll never be able to eat cantaloupe again!

R.F.W.Girl: Oh man, that IS a tragedy! Shame on you for turning someone off of the magically delicious orange melon of joy, Ted! PIZZA ROLLS!!!

Typer: (dryly) Oh yes. Fun just ABOUNDS in this place.

Riverfox: Hold on, I got this. (stands up) The first person to answer my next question gets a gallon of ice-cream and a free memory wipe of this entire traumatizing event!

(Everyone practically knocks each other over in an effort to be first in line. Riverfox smiles cheerfully)

Riverfox: Excellent! This will be the last question – (everyone cheers) – and the most important of all. Anyone who can answer this gets sent home right away!

Kiku: (somehow first in line) I thought you said I got that because I'm answering the question first!

Riverfox: (smiles) No, that was for a free memory wipe. And funny how I actually said it's whoever answers my question next, and you might not be able to, isn't it? (turns away from the sizzling Kiku) Now! Here is the question. (Dramatic Pause) ...Does anyone here actually know what the evil arch villain of the comic, Emperor Vanilleon, actually looks like?

(There is a dramatic gasp from somewhere in the studio, and then ominous organ music begins to play. R.F.W.Girl jumps and spins around)

R.F.W.Girl: Darnit, I'm telling you, this place is haunted! The Sound Booth has been broken for two weeks!

Riverfox: Well?

(There is a long pause as everyone tries desperately to remember if they've ever seen the enigmatic emperor's face. Then, in a flash of inspiration, Jen runs to the rescue)

Jen: Wait! I just remembered! There was a picture posted of him in the Weekly Glamour magazine last year!

Henson: ...The Weekly Glamour?

Jen: (embarrassed) Yes. I like to read it frequently. Do you have a problem with that?

Henson: No...but why was HE in the Weekly Glamour magazine?

Jen: Apparently he posed for a photo shoot of the styles of the rich and powerful. If I remember right, he was wearing a pair of green bellbottoms...

(Everyone raises their eyebrows)

Jen: With a fluorescent orange fedora...

(Everyone sticks out their tongues)

Jen: And about 3 tons of gaudy jewelry. Most of it around his neck.

(Everyone looks slightly ill)

Jen: My guess at the time was that he was having a rather dramatic gangster-style midlife crisis.

Typer: I think I'd have to agree with you on that!

Riverfox: That's all well and good (or sick and disturbing, whichever you prefer), but do you actually remember what he looked like?

Jen: No, but I do have the magazine clipping with me!

(Each and every person and monster in the room (except for Ted, who is still dismembering produce) stares at Jen with varying degrees of blank expressions)

Henson: You...have it WITH you?

Jen: (returns blank stare) Yes. Why?

Henson: (slaps self in face) I am NEVER going to understand girls!

Riverfox: And neither will the rest of us, if that makes you feel any better! Alright! If you can show us that and solve the mystery, we'll let you all go home!

(Jen slowly draws the strange magazine clipping out of...some mysterious pocket dimension, apparently, since there was nowhere else on her person it could have been...and walks dramatically to the front of the group. Her companions stare at her earnestly, wanting very much by now to go home. The organ music starts up again)

R.F.W.Girl: That is IT! Where's my Danny Phantom Ghost-Catching Thermos? (the organ music abruptly stops, and something flies squealing out of the Sound Booth and through the opposite wall. R.F.W.Girl looks very smug) Ha! That got 'im!

(Jen hands the folded magazine clipping to Riverfox, who accepts it reverently, an excited shine in her eyes. Typer and R.F.W.Girl eagerly crowd around her)

Riverfox: At last! One of the greatest and most irritatingly elusive mysteries of the True Magic universe is in our grasp! Now we have but to open it and discover the truth! Are you ready?

R.F.W.Girl: Bring it on! CHINESE DUMPLINGS!!!

Typer: (rolls eyes) Will you please just stop being dramatic and open it?

Riverfox: Alright! Here we go! (begins cracking open the paper, revealing a bit of green color) And the winner is...

(With a loud, likely-unnecessary CRASH, the lights suddenly turn off, as does all the equipment in the entire room. There are many startled yells and many bleeping noises that mark more futile attempts at cursing)

R.F.W.Girl: (grinning in the dark) Man, you guys sound hilarious! It's like listening to the soundtrack for one of those old 50's sci-fi movies! Quick, someone yell that aliens are invading! (all the True Magic participants immediately lapse into sullen silence)

Typer: (stomps in frustration) DARN it! The electric company caught on! That is IT! We are the moderators of this universe and we will not be treated this way! So help me, I am going to light every one of them on fire if I have to alter the laws of physics to do it!

Riverfox: Ooo, COOL! We almost NEVER get Typer to alter reality on purpose! Sweet!

R.F.W.Girl: Good thing no one can die in this universe. Dead Electric Company workers are really bad for the insurance.

Henson: Um...did you happen to see the picture? Can we go home now?

Riverfox: (irritated sigh) No. Dang the timing! But we should probably send you home, anyhow. (group cheer mixed with happy chrring of Patches the Sand Monster) Hey, Typer, before you unleash your all-powerful wrath on the Electric Company, how about opening the dimensional portal so these guys can go home?

Typer: Sure, might as well. Just give me a minute. (opens file on laptop and types for a few seconds, then abruptly stops. Groans and slaps self in face) Oh no!

Jen, Henson, Kiku, and Gauth: What?!

Typer: The power cut-off messed with the matrix of this virtual reality room and created a polarized containment field, so my signal's not getting through to the dimensional capacitor!

Riverfox: In English, please?

Typer: They can't leave until I hack the system. Which will take about three hours. Four if I decide to obliterate the Electric Company first.

Riverfox: Oh. Ah well! I guess we'll all just have to stay in here and get to know each other until you fix it!

(The darkness of the room quickly fills will horrified wails and the sound of several people scrabbling against the walls in a desperate and futile search for the door)

Riverfox: (smiles in the general direction of the camera) And that wraps up this episode of the Random Insanity Comic Review Show! Thank you for joining us, and if we don't have the characters back by next Tuesday, feel free to send a scalding review to the editor. Thanks for watching/reading, and have a good night!

R.F.W.Girl: And for anyone who actually noticed that we've been recording this radio show with a camera the entire time, you get a Badge of Observancy and a free cookie! Congratulations and long live techno! OREOS!!!

(Scene fades...well, as much as any scene of a pitch-black room CAN fade...to the sound of Ted sniffing the air, which suddenly quiets everyone else in the room. His pink-glowing eye sockets are still faintly visible. It is at this very moment that everyone realizes that the smashed fruit from the fruit and salad bar has gotten all over the floor...and, as several of them have been on the floor recently, it has thus gotten all over them)

Ted: Want...more...foood...I smell giant fruit! Come to meee...

Kiku: ...Yup. We're all gonna die.

Random Food Word Girl: PANCAKES!!!

The End!

Author Note:

Hi, all! This is Riverfox237, or Lynn Lutra, whichever you prefer! ^^ And no, I'm not the same Riverfox as the one in the text above; that's one of my personal characters, who all refer to me as The Author. True Magic the Comic is awesome, but not nearly as awesome as its author, Aja! So, many thanks to Aja for letting me write this for the Showcase. :D I was a bit slow on drawing a fancomic, so I'm really glad that I was able to submit something to show my appreciation for her comic. Anyway, I hope people like it; I tried to make it as funny as possible. And I apologize if I've managed to traumatize any of the characters beyond reason! And hopefully MOST people caught the half-dozen obscure references I made in there. XD

I learned something very valuable while writing this comic: writing an interesting and yet decently short comedic script involving 11 different characters within two busy weeks is REALLY REALLY HARD! So more Kudos to Aja, who, while not using quite that many characters at once, does come pretty darn close! Whoo! Note: the unfortunate absence of Disposable Bob and Expendable Joe, who are some of my favorite characters, was a sad side-effect of this difficulty. But we will remember them, for they are teh awesomeness. EYEPATCHES AND SECONDARY CHARACTERS RULE!!! :D

The Random Insanity Universe and all created characters therein belong exclusively to me; if you steal them, you are essentially stealing from a dimension that exists in my head, and that would be no end of awkward, wouldn't it? ^^ And now I'm done yammering. Thank you and have fun with the rest of the Showcase! I know I will! :D True Magic rules!

--Riverfox237--