Prestidigitation

Sometimes Magic Sounds Like Tape

Hamster Kicker

What better way to (ahem) kick off the art blog than with an entry for the Seventh Sanctum’s Class Act Art Contest?

I used the Wacky Class Generator to come up with this guy:

Hamster Kicker

Class Description

Why become a Hamster Kicker?

Maybe your boyfriend was savaged by a vicious Werehamster. Perhaps you have taken a sacred vow to exterminate the hulking Dire Hamsters that have plagued your village for generations. Or it could be that your tiny pet hamster (Snowball Squeakerkins I) broke your heart by dying when you were seven years old — and you need some unconventional therapy to bring closure.

But the ancient tradition of Hamster Kicking is not only for those with hamster-related grudges.

Dedicated disciples of the art strive to become one with the Cosmic Hamster, and attune themselves with all that is furry and squeaky in the universe. A true master is able to gather reconnaissance with the aid of a stealthy Scout Hamster, disable opponents with the well-placed grip of a tenacious Attack Hamster, and work in tandem with a nimble Targeting Hamster to land precision strikes.

As many a challenger can attest, it is difficult to stay focused in battle while a small rodent is scurrying around under one’s clothing and a man in heavy boots keeps kicking one here and there.

In any case, the Way of the Hamster Kicker is an arduous path, and while it may not promise glory, it does offer a gateway to transcendence…

…or possibly to lettuce, if your scout hamster happens to be hungry.

Special Moves
(Courtesy of the Martial Arts Move Generator and the Wrestling Move Generator)

  • Spiritual Foot Stretch
    It’s important to warm up properly before battle.
  • Shoulder Carry
    Use the ancient hamster-whisperer’s technique to keep your hamsters calm in their hamster holster.
  • Vertical Drop
    With the help of your targeting hamster, ambush your opponent from above.
  • Go-behind Toss
    Flanked in battle? Chuck your attack hamster over your shoulder to dispose of the enemies at your back.
  • Flying Toe Lift
    Propel your scout hamster high in the air to survey your surroundings.
  • Fatal Kick of the Goddess (pictured above, top right)
    Unleash a flurry of furry rodent fury.
  • Atomic Sweep (pictured above, bottom left)
    Call upon the spirit of the Cosmic Hamster to imbue your foot with blazing power.
  • Terrible Lightning Knee (pictured above, center)
    Too terrible to describe.

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3 Responses to “Hamster Kicker”

  1. Anna Says:

    XD I love how happy the hamster looks being kicked!
    Great picture! Made me smile.

  2. Aja Says:

    Glad you like it!

    It was certainly fun to draw. XD

  3. DragonScholar Says:

    Send me an email – you were one of the runner ups!